Monday, April 25, 2016

Final- The Price of Shame

I was first introduced to this talk a few weeks ago in another class but I was happy to watch it again. Although it makes me sad and frustrated to watch, it's a message I need reminded of often. The reason it makes me sad and frustrated is because I can't believe how cruel, unsympathetic, and careless people are on the internet especially to absolute strangers. I know there's always the argument that you can't know for sure what someone is really meaning through type and that there is always room for misunderstanding but in many cases, the message is all too clear and obvious what they are "really trying to say". Of course, a perfect example of this is Monica Lewinsky's story.

How does social media desensitize?

First off, the key element of social media is immediacy. This is also an element of insensitivity because you can't ever fully understand something or feel for someone in a matter of seconds or even minutes. We see events and people as flashes across our screen and give ourselves about 3 seconds to make a conclusion about it. After the ball had been rolling on this scandal, it resulted in people just seeing her name or her photo and automatically making a judgement about her. The other manner in which social media is desensitized is that we don't have to face the person we are bashing, it isn't real enough to actually filter what you are saying. We somehow are able to ignore the fact that behind the profile picture or paparazzi photo, is an actual human being with feelings and experiences you will never know or understand; or at least not through a screen.

How can compassion displace shame on social media?

As Monica states, compassion needs to not only take effect in the online world, but in our real world culture as well.  As we begin to change the way we treat each other in real life and be more kind, that will start to seep into our online life as well. If a trend of positivity started to take over and there were more loving and uplifting comments, negative comments would lose their appeal. Trollers would stop popping in if they knew no one was interested in their negative comment. I know this is a cliche statement but I think bullies online need to be killed by kindness. Rather than people feeling entitled to inform someone of their opinion or wrongdoing, they should accept that it's okay to disagree with people and still go on with your life. All of these things are easier said then done which is why I said that it has to start within our culture and our own personalities.

What are you prepared to do?

I really liked how she said instead of thinking of it as your right to speech, think of it as a responsibility for your speech. I completely agree with her and I think sometimes we get so caught up in the freedom to say whatever we want, we forget how powerful our words really are for good or bad. My responsibility online is not taking everything I read and see as face value. "You can't judge a book by its cover" seems like a saying we've heard a million times yet we still don't seem to get it. Although I have never participated in public shaming someone or spreading hateful words or photos, I am guilty of the little things nearly everyday. Reading a blog post and assuming it's true, seeing a photo on Instagram and making a snap judgement, reading a rage post on Facebook and automatically picking a side. All of these things have to stop and it's not an overnight change. It's something I need to consciously challenge myself every day to stop judging, stop being negative, and spread more kindness and compassion.



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